Cassy at http://www.cassyfiano.blogspot.com/ has a post up about eating out, and awareness of servers.
I think she has laid out her case very well, and spoken well of both sides of the table in a restaurant...
I have no problem with her ideas, nor her rounded up tip suggestion.
I would only add that when a server walks by my table and sees my coffee, or tea, is empty, I appreciate it when they ask if I would like a refill. So often they walk by, and I never see them again until it is time for the bill or the desert tray. Yes, it is frustrating to get up in a restaurant and walk over to the servers area to get a cup of coffee. If I have to take care of that myself, then what do I need a server for?
Aside from that, I always tip my server, unless they have been nasty with me, and ignored me.
Thanks Cassy for the input.